dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I need to sanitize my soul.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
