i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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