I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize