You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
