suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
