i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
