I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
