Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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