..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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