for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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