Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
