The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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