even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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