i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I forget how to act sober
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
