the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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