I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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