You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
