I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
