okay pat passed out under dana's car
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
