Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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