Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
