it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
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