Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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