omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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