By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
