We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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