Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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