whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
