and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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