thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
