I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
