Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
