I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
