I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
