I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
