we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
