What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just want nice things and good sex
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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