God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize