I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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