I think scott just propositioned me for sex
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
