best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
