Where is the hickey?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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