Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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