found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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