well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize