would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
