My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
