This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
