So drunk its hurt
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
