You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
