JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
