Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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