Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i now understand why vodka
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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