I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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