Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
