and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
where are you?
Hypothermia
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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