We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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