thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
