Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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