I hate your face
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
